How do you begin to deal with such deep loss?
There is often a sense of 'having to carry on and get on with things' after loss and while life carries on, honouring your feelings and truly allowing yourself to grieve at this difficult time is crucial. There is absolutely no right or wrong way of doing this, and it doesn't matter what anyone suggests, only you know the depth of heartache you are experiencing. There is no exact length of time that it takes to heal emotionally and there is no limit as to how long this should take.
It is not about 'getting over' your loss, it is a part of your story and each loss is unique and is experienced differently from woman to woman. Pregnancy and Baby loss is undoubtedly a painful (and often confusing) time with a churning mix of emotions and unanswered questions. Taking your time and being gentle with yourself, as well as finding the right support during this experience can be crucial. Trying to accept your feelings, as well asallowing yourself to grieve is an important part of the healing process.
There is no right or wrong way, or exact length of time it takes to heal emotionally. There are some suggestions on Honouring your Miscarriage and Baby Loss that might be helpful when you feel you want to explore this.
Write a Letter or Poem to your Baby
You could write a letter sharing whats is in your heart. You could tell your baby how you are feeling, along with any hopes you had for them. This can be done more than once and can be a good way to just free write.
Take your Time andBe Gentle with Yourself
Light a Candle
Any experience of loss or trauma can create a mix of emotions. Being kind and gentle with yourself will only help you to better accept the sadness, shock, anger and grief. Taking your time with your feelings and your experience will help, there is absolutely no rush to 'feel better' and whilst your experience doesn't define you it is a part of your story. It will ease with time, but whilst that is happening be gentle with you and take it a step at a time.
Fertility and Womb Massage Therapy™ and Self Massage
Massage has many amazing benefits for helping women recover after Pregnancy and Baby Loss. I have supported many women using Fertility Massage Therapy combined with other techniques and you can also apply Self Massage at home. It has physical and emotional benefits :
- Provides a nurturing space crucial to emotional wellbeing
- Balances hormones & regulates your menstrual cycle
- Reduces physical tension and discomfort held in the muscles
- Creates stillness and relaxation, helping you to heal
- Reduces cortisol level and stress hormones
- Encourages re position of the uterus back to it's original position
- Restores Fertility by improving reproductive health
Self Care and Stress Reduction
This might seem like a given, or it might feel like you don't have the energy or feel 'selfish' to focus on you but it is crucial and you deserve it. In times of trauma, grief and challenging times upping your self care and self love cannot be underestimated.
This can support you to feel more centered, calm and balances emotionally and hormonally.
Yoga Nidra also known as a 'yogic nap' is said to restore and compare with taking a nap. There are
Castor Oil Pack focuses on liver and uterine health. Cleansing specifically for fertility is very supportive and encouraging for fertility and the reproductive system.
Pregnancy and Baby Loss brings up a lot of emotions: anger, confusion, fear, guilt, sadness and worry. What did I do wrong? Is my body capable? Why did this happen? What can I do to prevent this from happening again? All of these thoughts racing through your mind can be very stressful. Managing that stress is an essential part of your recovery, especially for your heart. Allow yourself time to heal the pain and longing your mind, body and soul are experiencing.
Be selfish, put you first and take the time you need to nurture yourself. Make time to reduce stress and up your self care. We are more than our physical bodies, treating yourself holistically is going to greatly improve your chances of healing, so you can move toward a successful, healthy pregnancy.
Talk about your experience, it could help to seek a talking therapy such as a holistic practitioner or counseling
Actively engage your body in healing therapies
Support join a pregnancy or baby loss support group or forum
Journal about your journey - take to paper and free write. You don't have to read anything back or share this with anyone. It is for your healing process and just by getting it down on paper can have a profound result.
Acknowledge your loss, take time to grieve and allow yourself space to process your experience which will be unique to you
Believe in your body’s capacity to heal itself
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) there are lots of free resources and videos online and speficic ones to help release the emotions of loss